Golf Jokes (or is it?) - What's Good About Golf?

Golfers, when asked about their views on golf, here are some of the replies:

- the good thing about Golf is You never get too old

- no matter how bad You are, The good thing about golf is You can stay in The game

- the good thing about golf is that we all have to play the same course in the same conditions

- The good thing about golf is that you can never say a course is too easy

- The good thing about golf is that it's a game in any given day you can play as good as the pros

- the good thing about golf is, you're not done when you're 25. You actually can get better as you get older

- The good thing about Golf is, There's always Next week!

Golf Term – What’s a Putting Green?

A putting green is an area specially prepared for putting.

If you are on the putting green, only use your putter!

Golf Term – What's an address?

It is not where you live or work we are interested in.

In golf, ADDRESS refers to the act of setting up your club and body to the ball.

Once you have rested your club head behind the ball, you have addressed the ball.

What's the importance? Well, once you have addressed the ball, and if you swing and miss, your stoke will be counted.

Golf Tips - Driver Drill

Hi fellow golfers! Came across this interesting article by Dan Polites, a PGA Professional, over at www.pga.com website. Enjoy this piece and keep working on that driver:

Hitting your driver well is a combination of physical skill, mental concentration and confidence. This is easier to obtain on the driving range, then move it to a non-competitive playing environment.

If you struggle as you continue, here are some tips for working on your driver:

1) Start with mini-swings and proceed to full swings when you begin making solid contact.

2) Hit balls with your feet together.

3) Take full swings at 50-percent power.

4) Concentrate on this counting sequence during your swing: 1-2 going back on the backswing and 3 on the downswing.

5) Concentrate on extending your clubhead down the target line with a high follow through position.

6) Keep your grip pressure light and body tension free both at address and during the swing.

7) Hit balls with your driver only to the 100-yard flag or marker, then 125 yards, then 150, then 175, gradually moving to a normal distance for your driver.

8) Swing thought: Tell yourself, "Swing through the ball" NOT "at the ball."

To view Dan Polites, and other golf tips from PGA professionals, click on here: www.pga.com golf tips

Golf Tips - Drill To Combat Slice

So, you're having a problem ... the dreaded slice.

Here's some tips by Gerry Hammond, a PGA Professional, for you to try out during your practice:

Hit a lot of golf balls with your feet together. This will isolate the lower body a little, allowing your hands, arms and club to swing and release through the golf ball. If the hips get away from this posture, you will lose your balance.

Second, hit balls dropping the right foot back behind the left foot. While doing this, swing to the right of your intended target. This will shut your hips and allow your hands to get down in front of your body. This will force the club to release over, causing a right-to-left shape to the ball. This same drill, keeping both feet in the ground throughout the swing, will pronounce this effect.

Another drill is to hit balls with one hand. The dominant hand will enhance the timing of the club with the lower body creating an in-to-out path. This forces the club to release through the ball. Good luck practicing!

Visit this link www. pga.com for more great golf tips from Gerry Hammond and other PGA professionals.

Golf Term – What’s a Tee Box / Teeing Ground?

It is the starting place for each hole, defined by two tee-markers.

You play your tee shot from between, and not in front of, the tee-markers. You may play your shot from up to two club-lengths behind the front line of the tee-markers.

If you’re teeing outside this area:

In match play – no penalty but your opponent may require you to replay your stroke.

In stroke play – two stroke penalty and then play from within the proper area

With your friends – well, its up to your frens really ….

Golf Rules – Etiquette

To guarantee enjoyment of the game for you, your flight partners as well as other golfers, and ensuring not being an annoyance , here’s a list of what you should look out for when out in the golf course:

• don’t play until the group in front is out of the way;
• don’t hold up play (such as searching for your balls for too long);
• invite faster groups to play through;
• shout a warning if your ball might hit someone;
• don’t move, talk or stand to close to a player making a stroke;
• don’t step on another player’s line of putt (this occurred to Michelle Wie in her early playing days in the LPGA);
• repair divot and pitch marks;
• smooth footprints in bunkers;
• replace flagsticks carefully.

Another thing that annoys me is HANDPHONE! Please switch it off or if you must, put on vibration or just to ring once! If you need to make a call or answer a call, ensure you are not holding up play or invite the group behind you to play through!

Golf is a gentlemen's (and ladies') game ... so, please be a gentleman or a lady and observe etiquette!

Have fun playing it!

Golf Joke – Keep Your Head Down

One not so fine day, Al had a terrible fight with his wife. To ease his sorrow, he decided to spend the day at a plush country club, playing golf, enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy.

Unfortunately, he played poorly all day.

At the 18th hole, he spotted a lake off to the left of the fairway.

He looked at the caddy and said, "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."

The caddy looked back at him and said, "I don't think you could keep your head down that long."

Golf Term - What's A Topped Shot?

It is a golf shot generally caused by lifting the head prematurely.

The bottom of the club strikes the top of the ball, resulting in a weak, bouncing ball.

Somehow these shots seem to be plentiful when water is about 10 meters ahead. It sure is one of the mysteries of golf.

Golf Rules - Rules of Play

Things you need to do before starting your rounds:

• read the Local Rules posted at the golf course - printed on the score card or posted on the notice board
  
• put an id mark on your golf balls so that you can identify your own balls and no mix up with others
• count your clubs; you are allowed maximum 14 clubs
• during your round, do not ask for advice from anyone except your caddie or partner; don't give advice except to your partner
• during the play of a hole you must not play any practice shots, only practice swing!

Now, go out there an have fun!

Golf Jokes - Would You Remarry?

One fine day, whilst sitting on the couch watching Desperate Housewives, suddenly Al's wife asked, "If I die, would you re-marry?"

"I would," Al answered.

"You would?" the wife asked, a bit surprised. "Would you let her move into my house?"

"I would."

"Would she be cooking in my kitchen?"

"She would."

"Would she be driving my car?"

"She would."

Growing more exasperated, the wife continued asking, "would she be sleeping on my bed?"

"She would."

"Would she be using my golf clubs?"

"Oh no, definitely not."

"Why not?"

"Well, she's left-handed."

Golf Term - What's a bunker?

Basically, a bunker refers to a hole-type area filled with sand.

Once you have taken your shot from a bunker, and before leaving the bunker, you should carefully fill up and smooth over all holes and footprints made. If a rake is within reasonable proximity of the bunker, use it for this purpose.

This is part of etiquette on the golf course, remember that!

Golf Jokes - Golf Tee

One fine day, whilst traveling through the country side in his new Mercedes, Al had to stop at a small gas station.

While filling in some gas, the old mechanic noticed some buttons on the dashboard and asked Al what they were for, obviously no nuts about golf.

Al looked down at the golf tees on his dashboard and said, "those are what I set my balls on."

The old man replied, "boy oh boy, those Germans think of everything, don't they!"