Golf Jokes - Medical Condition: "Golf Balls"

One day, while on his way home from the course, Al's car overheated .

He managed to flag down a passing bus and got aboard. Somehow he had forgotten to put away his golf balls, and now his pockets were bulging with them.

The little old lady that sat next to Al kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, Al said, "It's golf balls."

She quickly replied, "Does it hurt as bad as tennis elbow?"

Golf Term - What's a Divot?

Divot ... a casualty of the golf shot.

It is basically the grass that is removed when a player strikes the ball and the turf beneath.

Divots are certainly part of the game; just remember to replace them back after your shot!

Golf Term - What's a Bogey?

A bogey - it is when you shoot above a hole's par.

This means that at a par 3 hole you shoot more than 3; similarly at a par 4 hole you shoot more than 4, and at a par 5 hole you shoot more than 5.

If you score 1 shot above the hole's par, it means you made a bogey. If it is by extra 2 shot, you scored a double bogey; and if you require an additional 3 shots, you have done a triple bogey.

Don't be confused with the word BOOGIE!

Golf Rules - How Many Clubs In a Golf Bag?

Question: How many golf clubs are you allowed to carry in your bag whilst at the golf course?

Well, if the game is among friends, most of the time nobody bothers with it, right?

However, if you are in a competition, it matters. You can refer to Rule 4-4, subsections a to c, which dwell into the regulation as well as the penalties (please see Rules of Golf, R & A Rules Limited, at www.randa.org)

However, for your basic information, Rule 4-4 states that a player could only start a stipulated round with a maximum of fourteen (14) clubs.

Golf Rules - Who draws up the Rule Book?

As you know the game of Golf is being played in all parts of the world.

If you are wondering about the rules of the game, well, basically the two main bodies that discuss and deliberate on the rules of the game, and periodically update them, are The R & A (which takes its name from The Royal & Ancient Golf Clubs of St Andrews) and the United States Golf Association.

As independent bodies, The R&A and the USGA work closely together to produce a uniform code of rules so that wherever the game is played the same laws apply.

The rest of the world generally will adopt this Rule Book through affiliation of the respective national unions, associations and federations with these two bodies.

For more information, please refer to the respective websites:

The R&A: www.randa.org

United States Golf Association: www.usga.org

Golf Tips - How Long To Practice Before Trying Out The Golf Course?

So you have hired a coach, listen attentively to whatever the coach tells you at each session, and also practice rigorously at the driving range. But surely one day you will ask for how long?

This is what I think:

First of all, you are not really preparing for a tournament or the professional circuit, right? Thus, there's no need to be overly concerned about whether you are ready or not.

At the range, do you feel comfortable with your game? Have you got your swing rhythm? And, have you try out the putting green?

If YES are your answers, then, I guess you are as ready as anybody can be. Get a seasoned golfer to play with you and he or she will be able to give you a tip or two. Have fun and don't worry about the score!

But, before you go out on the golf course, please read up the RULE BOOK especially the ETIQUETTE section. This is to avoid any untoward incident while you are out there.

Remember, have fun while you are out there!

Golf Jokes - The Visiting Aliens

One fine day, an alien spaceship hovered over a golf course.

Inside the spaceship, two aliens were watching a new golfer practising on a golf course. This was the first time they are watching the game being played and they watched in amazement.

The golfer duff his tee shot, shanked his second into the rough, took three to get out of the rough into the fairway, slice the next shot into the bushes, took a putter to get it out on the fairway again.

Meanwhile, one alien told the other that he must be playing some sort of game and they continued to observe the golfer.

The golfer hit a great shot into a bunker by the green. He took several shots to get out of the bunker and finally on to the green. He putted several times until he finally got into the hole.

At this stage, the other alien told his partner, "Wow, now he is in serious trouble".

Golf Term - What's an Eagle?

An Eagle - common name for large predatory birds of the family Falconidae ( hawk family), found in all parts of the world. Eagles are similar to the buteos, or buzzard hawks, but are larger both in length and in wingspread (up to 7 1/2 ft/228 cm) and have beaks nearly as long as their heads.

That's what an Eagle to an ordinary man in the street!

To golfers, an Eagle is similar in description to a Birdie, which is a lower score from a hole's par. However, instead of just one score lower, the golfer scores two shots below.

For example:

Al is at the Par 5 hole number 18. He holes it with his third shot. Thus, he has shot two score below the average 5 shots for the hole - he has made an eagle.

Similarly, if it is a Par 4 hole, Al scored with his second shot.

Golf Term - What's a Birdie?

For the concerned, well, it's not some name calling.

A birdie refers to a situation when a golfer scores one shot below a hole's par.

For example:

Al is at the Par 4 hole number 6. He reaches the green in 2 (which means he reached the green in 2 shots). He then holes it with his third shot. Thus, he has shot one score below the average 4 shots for the hole - he has made a birdie.

Similarly, if Al holes in 2 shots at the Par 3, or, make 4 shots at the Par 5, in both instances he also made birdie.

Golf Tips - Getting Started Part 2

So you like the game. What's next huh? Well, start learning I suppose. And how to do that?

You can start in three easy ways:

i. you could use training books and training videos, or,

ii. you could get some short lessons from your friends or relatives, or,

iii. get yourself a good coach.

My personal opinion:

learn from a good coach. You will learn faster and also start the correct way. Plus, the coach is there to answer all your questions. You then can add the training books and videos as part of your learning process.

If you do not start by learning the game correctly, you tend to pick up bad habits and will be difficult or take a longer time to correct later.

In between lessons, make time for the driving range.

Have Fun!

Golf Tips - Getting Started

So you are thinking of taking up GOLF and you want to know what's the next step?

Well, my advice is - don't go on a spending spree to buy the shoes, clubs, gloves ... basically the whole works, just yet.

I know you are pretty excited to join the ranks but first, have a try out at the driving range and see if you are going to like the game, and patient enough to stay in the game.

People take up Golf for various reasons ... whatever it is, it's for the better if you enjoy doing it as well, right?

Just think about it ... spending 4 hours at the course at a time, then the regular workouts at the driving range ... plus the money spent on equipment, coaches, green fees ...

Therefore, go to the driving range with a friend or relative and give golf a try first ...